10:37am: After he broke up with me I naturally wanted nothing more to do with him, he begged me to still talk to him and be around because he 'didn't want to be without me'. Somewhere along the line that changed, just like his fickle mind (after 3 years he suddenly realised he 'no longer wanted to be in a relationship') and nothing...we just stopped talking and 2 years on I still have no idea why.
Why did he suddenly just stop caring, I find it impossible that he ever actually truly loved me because if he did, you don't just forget about someone, after all I had thought about him a lot and he never left my mind. So many things had happened, I had been through so much, much of it not good and the one person I wanted to share it with or to talk to was him. I didn't want to feel that way but as someone who guarded her emotions well and shared nothing, he changed that. I went from saying nothing to sharing everything and then when I no longer had him around to share things with...nothing again! I confided in my best friend, other friends and appreciated having them but I missed our bond, it was different.
'I need to tell you something but the right person isn't asking me what's wrong' read my 13 year old cousin's online screename. A sense of sadness overcame me; at such a young age I was distressed that such a thought or emotion was already present in her precious young life. But honestly, I knew exactly how that felt, I was feeling a pain, experiencing a hurt that truly, I only wanted one person to notice - someone you cared about so much and provided so much for could easily walk away and turn their back on you.
It was a harsh reality but people were increasingly selfish the more selfless you were...why? So whilst I lay here consumed in my pain and my emotions once again like so many times before, the right person wasn't concerned, effectively the right person didn't or wasn't asking me what was wrong...he simply didn't care.
H.B. (Heart Broken)
